Goodbye

“To love is to live always with the possibility of loss; to sorrow with loss is to have loved.”

—Nick Cave

Our dear sweet Ben is gone.

He left this world at 9:30 last night. After losing consciousness in the car as we drove him to the ER, he never woke up. He didn’t suffer. A quick escape from his crazy hair-raising journey.

One minute Ben was fine and the next we were rushing him to the hospital as he fell into a coma. The Neurosurgeon quickly assessed it was not a survivable event. A massive stroke in his brain stem.

We had just enough time to gather at his bedside and watch him pass into a realm where there are no heart defects and brain bleeds, blood draws and giant handfuls of daily pills, no unknowns, no fears.

God answered our prayers: Ben didn’t suffer. Although watching him fight for his last breaths was heart wrenching, it was not a horrific event; a life support question never had to fall onto Eric’s already heavy shoulders; and he wasn’t alone at the end.

God’s mercy was in every minute of Bens last day. So many weird happenings, God-ordained happenings. It was a wonderful last day of laughter and friend gatherings and happy memories with Ben.

Of course we all have happy memories of Ben. What a guy. Truly someone that didn’t have a mean bone in his body. Dry wit, compassion, empathy, and a quirky skill set of knowledge of all things Star Trek and random films.

He never feared death, but was so gosh-darn close to it so many times for so many years. He always looked forward to the good things of life to come. We were constantly shaking our head in disbelief at his optimism for the future.

His one worry was that he wasn’t doing enough in life to make a difference. I think anyone who ever knew Ben would disagree. He taught us all the value of kindness, resilience, humility and for Eric and I, a particular lesson in taking one day at a time and finding gratitude in the small mercies of life.

He would tell you all to “Live long and prosper,” but not in any kind of fruitless striving, but in peace and kindness to every person in your world.