Change of Seasons

It’s a change of seasons here in Alaska. Darker days, wind, and crazy rain seem to come with the start of schools and the departure of tourist hoards. We stow away the carefree things of summer, winterize systems, and batten down the hatches for storms sure to come. 

 Today’s weather is an example: an atmospheric river of rain and wind has been sweeping through Sitka. Land and sea, and our snug home, are being pummeled.

 Nature doesn’t hide its face here. It’s one of the many things that made me fall in love with this place, in our unanchored grief following Ben’s death. One day the green mountains glow and cerulean sea sparkles, and the very next day those mountains are cloaked in black storm clouds, the sea turns iron gray and the unobstructed North Pacific weather slams itself into the town.

 It makes one feel incredibly small, but perhaps right-sized in the scope of Life. My human capacity for self-pity is obliterated in the face of Nature’s incredible forces thrown against the solid land and  flowing sea.

 Life is full and crazy, like today, and also dull and calm, like last week. Each season brings challenges and unexpected joys…darker days, confusion,  crazy decisions. But always new beginnings.

 It feels good to  pivot with the seasons. Catch my breath before the next one.

 Whether my face is tipped up the sun or pelted by the rain, I hope my heart remains open to it all.  I hope I don’t forget my smallness in the Universe, the humbling that makes self-pity foolish. I hope Nature continues to teach me gratitude for the time I get to spend here on this earth, to know that a change in the weather, and in the seasons of life, will predictively arrive.

 Now I’m gonna go put on a raincoat and make a stand against the rain, just to feel its power. I’m gonna go down to the river and look down from the bridge and watch the swollen river overrunning its banks, just because life moves fast sometime and that’s kind of scary and kind of exciting. Sometimes you just gotta stand on the bridge in the rain, feel the roar of the water racing underneath, powerful in its uncontrollable hurry, and remind your heart that life is just as scary and unpredictable, but it is certainly good and sometimes just damn fun.

 If your seasons haven’t changed yet, tilt your face up to sunny skies, breathe in the warmth and vastness, prepare your heart for whatever’s next. It’s sure to include some crazy goodness.